Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
