Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
