Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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