Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
