A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
