if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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