i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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