I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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