she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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