Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
