if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize