we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
