We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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