i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
