She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
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I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
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