I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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