just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
