They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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