Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
