I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
