let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
