I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
