So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
