Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
