yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
