Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
