i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
