who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Is Oprah even human
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
