dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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