ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
