Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
