some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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