She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
