he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
