Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
