im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
