I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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