His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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