he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
