Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
