why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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