I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
