Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
NoShamevember. You game?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
