Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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