oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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