id be glad to
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
