We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
