Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
