I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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