I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
