I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
