Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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